A friend shared an article on their Facebook page today that really struck a chord with me. It was a blog post titled The 22 Habits of Unhappy People. This included worrying about the future, chronic complaining and eating poorly. Sure, I have been victim to doing many of these things throughout the course of my life, however it is only recently this has changed.
One of the things particularly that I have given up (that strangely didn’t even make this list), is the one thing I believe really needs to go if you want to live a happy, healthy and meaningful life….That is:
Comparing yourself to others
This is not only something that can lead to great unhappiness, but wastes a hell of a lot of time. That’s time that could be spent living your own life.
We are all guilty, or have been guilty of this. Comparing every facet of our lives to someone else: jobs, relationships, homes, bank accounts, looks, popularity, confidence, ability – the whole kit and caboodle. It kind of stems from that stupid saying I heard too much as a kid: “We all want what we can’t have.” What a load of BS.
Here’s why comparing yourself to others is shit and has to stop
The people that you’re looking at, comparing yourself to, and on some level, wishing you could be more like, are all on their own journey.
I have honestly spent far too long looking at other people and what they are doing. Thinking maybe this might help me to better myself, and most recently hoping that I’ll find answers on what move I should make next to start kicking some goals in the health and wellbeing space.
There’s Ashey Bines and her bikini challenge, Sarah Wilson with the I Quit Sugar phenomenon and Michelle Bridges is a brand within herself! The list goes on of great initiatives all constructed by amazing women that I admire.
But in reality, all of this searching and delving into the lives of others just takes away from the time I could spend forging a path for myself.
The only way I feel that I can power on and make positive change in my life is if I tap into what makes me tick. Who I am as a person, what do I truly value, and what are my strengths? I’ve been caught up for too long focusing on what other people are doing, or what they have done to get them to where they are that I can start to loose track of my own journey.
Can you relate in your daily life? Have you spent time wondering:
How did they get that job? How can they afford to go on holidays all the time? Why does she look so good in a bikini? Why do they have such an amazing partner? How do they have such shapely legs? How come they can lose weight and I can’t?
Sure ask all of these questions to gather info, but only if you are going to actually do something constructive with it.
Dwelling on the fact that someone else has something that you want, or is doing something that you wish you were doing is a complete waste of energy – unless you use your new found knowledge as fuel for your own fire.
Besides, when we compare ourselves to other people we are not even getting the whole picture. It’s like viewing the world through rose coloured glasses, because when you scan your facebook page and see selfies of other people, or amazing holiday snaps and start to feel down on yourself you are only seeing the highlights reel.
Same as when I look at these amazing entrepreneurial women who have created amazing empires, but as I know, they all started off somewhere. And I’m sure with a whole lot of blood sweat and tears. As they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
And this is my whole point.
Life is a journey that each and every one of us goes on individually.
Which is why I intend to carry on making my own decisions that will shape where I go and who I become, one step at a time – I’ve come to realise that this is much more satisfying than looking to my left and my right (or at my Instagram account!) to check out what other people are doing!